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Good Morning Doctor! - Chapter 39

English as She is Spoke

These things actually happened.

There was the student nurse who had learned that one of the first responsibilities of a nurse is to make the patient feel that everything will be all right; in short, to reassure the patient. In an examination she was asked, "What is the first duty of a nurse in preparing a patient for an operation?" And this was her answer: "The first duty of a nurse is to insure the patient."

Then there was the lady who had had an abdominal operation and who, at a later date, was reporting on her condition. She complained of some pain and the doctor asked her where it was. She placed her hand on the scar, saying, "It's right here, doctor, right here where you made the insinuation."

My assistant once was sent to the wait upon a young lady while I was ill. Explaining the case to him, I told him that she had come to town to take lessons in sewing. After he had been told the nature of her illness he said, "Sewing? It sounds to me more like reaping."

A lawyer friend shared this gem with me. In trying to make an adjustment concerning a mislaid note a farmer suggested, "If gif you a new note if you write someding on de back dot say if der loss note vas found den dis von iss not guilty."

I was at a banquet in Burlington and was to introduce Dr. McKitrick, a great obstetrician, who in his earlier days had performed, as was the custom, scores of circumcisions. I had not decided just what to say when the speaker before me began quoting Shakespeare. That was the inspiration I needed. When my turn came I begged that I, too, might quote a little Shakespeare, a passage which the work of Dr. McKitrick always brought to mind:

There is Divinity that shapes our ends, Rough-hew them how we will.

  Version: World Wide Web Edition Copyright 1995 by Richard Rathe
  Created: October 1, 1995   Modified: July 5, 1999

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